Marking
Landmark Occasions with Ceremony: Private Ceremonies at Shao Shan Temple
By Rev. Taihaku
Priest and Rev. Kenzan Seidenberg
Our lives are interspersed with landmark occasions. In the same way as when we take a journey on
a path unknown, at the important junctures of the path, we will mark a tree or
make a pile of stones, so we know the way that we have come, so we mark these
life junctures.
As a community temple, it is an important function of Shao
Shan Temple to make available private and public ceremonies where we can join
together for these landmark occasions. Some landmark occasions are major decisions,
such as marriage or ordination. When a landmark occasion is a decision, having
it acknowledged and witnessed by the community underscores commitment and
responsibility. Some landmark occasions come upon us by the nature of being
alive: we are born and we die.
Landmark ceremonies commemorated at Shao Shan Temple (or
performed by Taihaku/Kenzan at other locations) often have a mix of ancient traditional
ritual and aspects which are tailored to meet the needs of the individual(s). Each
ceremony is unique.
Birth
The great beginning of life, birth, is a time of celebration and
wonder. The ceremony to welcome a new life to a family can take many different
names and forms: “Baby Blessing,” “Naming Ceremony,” “Baptism,” or “Welcoming Ceremony.”
Sometimes parents choose to have the ceremony specifically when the child is
three months old; other times it is held at a time that works well for all
family members and friends. An especially valuable part of the ceremony is often
the “commitment of intention” by parents (and sometimes by godparents if they
are being designated). Parents have found it to be both helpful and moving to
specifically articulate “their intentions as a parent,” which define clearly
how they want to support this new life in their care. To state these intentions
publicly further underlines them.
Coming of Age
The significance of reaching maturity as a young adult has
many aspects which, when addressed, help a young adult take full responsibility
in society and also for their personal future. Throughout time there have been “rite
of passage” rituals to signify when a young person comes of age. We see that
this need for formally acknowledging the transition to adulthood still exists. Although
this has been rarely requested at Shao Shan Temple, we try to incorporate
aspects of this in mentoring programs when appropriate.
Marriage
When two people commit their lives, love, and loyalty to
each other, the community rejoices in their sacred vows. Each wedding is
individually designed based on what the couple wants. Often in weddings that we
have performed there has been a blending of different traditions – for
instance, incorporating Christian or Jewish elements in addition to traditional
elements and chants from the Zen tradition. An aspect that many couples
recently have found to be moving is to incorporate after the usual “I do”
questions, asking all those congregated “Do all present here today pledge to
support “Name 1” and “Name 2” in the
vows to which they will be entering?” This highlights our interconnectedness
and the responsibility we share.
Death
The conclusion of a person’s
life holds an ultimate significance. Sometimes shocking, sometimes a relief
after a long illness, the ramifications are often difficult. Services for a
deceased loved one can provide support in this difficult time. Often the
services surrounding someone’s death have several phases. There may be an
intimate time of chanting with the body shortly after death, a Memorial Service
and an Interment Ceremony, or a ceremony when scattering the ashes, as depicted
in the photo at left. Memorial Services are primarily for friends and loved
ones of the deceased and are designed with input from the family and close friends
to reflect the life and wishes of the person who died. From our Buddhist
perspective, we consider that the funeral is equally important for the one who
has died: to help and support them during this transition.
Death can be a shock to the living and also
to those who have died.
Funerals can
help everyone realize and accept the reality of death.
Divorce
Ceremonies acknowledge and mark conscious beginnings and
endings. As such, we would suggest that it could be appropriate to incorporate
sacred ritual around divorce, especially when there are children involved. We would like to offer a ceremony to
acknowledge the love that had been there, to wish each other well, and to commit
to the continuing support of the children. Such a ceremony can facilitate the integration
of a difficult occasion into the life journey.
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Ceremonies can support people in their joy or sorrow. They are consciously designed to support
those present and to create a sacred container. They mark events in our memory.
They allow important occasions to be witnessed and provide support in new
beginnings and in our grief.
Ceremonies mark when life will never be the same
again. Through ritual or structure, a group can amplify an occasion and bring
to it the power of completion. Without such a ceremony, there can be a lingering
sense that the significance of the event was not wholly realized.
In Soto Zen monasteries, the monastic life is a series of
little ceremonies. There is the ceremony for eating with the oryoki bowls, a
chant when brushing one’s teeth, and morning, noon and evening services. By
noting the beginning and the ending of each moment, these daily ceremonies mark
each moment as important and sacred. We do this each time we sit in meditation with
the mini-ceremony of bowing in the direction of the cushion and turning
clockwise and bowing in the direction of those assembled: bowing with gratitude
for the opportunity to practice, and then bowing with gratitude to all those
present who are also supporting our practice and all those who have gone before
throughout time.
Although tradition, ritual implements, and sacred
surroundings can evoke a respectful/solemn attitude, we can also be aware that
ceremonies can happen anywhere and at any time.
For instance, when leaves change color and dance in the wind descending
to earth, or the first blanket of snow falls, this is like a ceremony marking a
significant change. Every breath is a ceremony, a sacred moment.
This month for the
Children's Program we explored the themes of generosity and reciprocity. 
Shao Shan Temple's 
The recent snow storm of heavy wet snow has created a beautiful but potentially dangerous situation at Shao Shan Temple. The weight of the snow on the branches of the Red Pine trees that surround the Temple have caused several of them to fall. One of them landed on the Temple building itself, fortunately the only damage was a bent chimney. Another grazed the Little Hall roof, broke the deck and the clothesline structure. Another on the main path to the front door and a fourth landed on the electric line above the lower parking lot.
Advance Care Planning is a process to help a person, in advance of injury, serious illness, or catastrophic event to think about and plan for future medical decisions should they become unable to speak for themselves. In conjunction with our study group topic of death and
dying we had a special Advance Care Planning Workshop on Saturday, Nov. 18th to facilitate a
more in depth look at this practical aspect of preparing for our death and events
leading up to it. 
When two people commit their lives, love, and loyalty to
each other, the community rejoices in their sacred vows. Each wedding is
individually designed based on what the couple wants. Often in weddings that we
have performed there has been a blending of different traditions – for
instance, incorporating Christian or Jewish elements in addition to traditional
elements and chants from the Zen tradition. An aspect that many couples
recently have found to be moving is to incorporate after the usual “I do”
questions, asking all those congregated “Do all present here today pledge to
support “Name 1” and “Name 2” in the
vows to which they will be entering?” This highlights our interconnectedness
and the responsibility we share.
Amidst snow and rain, this past weekend's autumn sesshin was well attended with a strong group participating for the full sesshin. 
they talked about impermanence ...
